Periodic Table of Frameworks · Fears · Room
Fh
4 parts
Four horsemen
John Gottman
You want a relationship that does not die in the room. The problem is the kill shots look like ordinary talk: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. Contempt is the one that ends it. Leave them unnamed and the room will feel like weather. Name the horseman and you still have a chance to turn.
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Hover or tap a piece.
In one line
A room dies by criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling. Contempt is the kill shot.
Use this on a relationship. It answers: What are you afraid of?
The other half
The triangle is the fear in ninety seconds. The horsemen are that fear after it has a room.
How this talks to the others
Leads into
Two fearsNot-enough and not-loved, in a room, arrive as the four horsemen.
Seminars